Before reading Ninja's post I hadn't even realized, it'll be almost two years since we've had this blog. Hopefully we keep it and don't forget about it, even if there aren't many entries. Time for me to read through the old ones and reminisce now.
-Brains
Sunday, December 19, 2010
It's been a while.
I hope all is well here, I thought I'd just stop by & say hi! Sorry I neglected the blog this year! I really miss you guys.
--Ninja
--Ninja
Friday, December 3, 2010
Another post
I don't know what to write today. But I felt like I should put something. It's still been over a month since I've drawn, I mean really drawn. I tried putting some sketches on paper yesterday, but it was just half-assed and I didn't come up with anything besides a ball of paper in my trash can. I have been scouring the interweb hoping for some inspiration. I look at DeviantArt, I go to my favorite artists' websites, still nothing. I was on Town's website and he had a link to Jason Freeny's facebook page. This guy takes vinyl toys, cuts them out so you can see the inside, then sculpts their insides, bones, liver etc. That's pretty cool, but it almost pushed me further away from drawing, or anything related to toys, just because it seems so complicated and like it'd take so long. I was browsing an interview with Sam Flores the other day. He was working on wood cutouts of his characters for an art show of his. That inspired me, but not enough to bring out some paper and pencils. But eventually it is something I want to do. Lately I've also had the urge to paint on a skateboard deck. I'm thinking a regular one, if I get one of those fish skateboards I'd be too tempted to ride it. I want to come up with some more Dime sketches eventually. Some more stuff to put on t-shirts. Get some t-shirts actually made. I just don't want to do anything, don't wanna go to school, don't wanna draw. I do want to keep working though, I like getting checks. The military is sounding better and better everyday.
Monday, November 22, 2010
Lost Inspiration
I haven't drawn in a long time, almost a month now. Which isn't long, but that's like Cyborg not playing piano for a month. I just stopped. I realized I'll never be able to afford the cheapest art school, which is the one in San Francisco. I think that had something to do with it. I haven't worked in photoshop, done any graffiti drawings, even tagged my name. Well I take that back, I wrote a letter to Emiri the other day, and I drew our names on that. But that's it. Well, yesterday I was at SnowJam, and ski and snowboard convention. There was this booth there for Sno Bro clothing, stupid name huh? Reminds me of Slowbro haha. My brother made a comment about it, I don't remember what he said about the name, but he said I could blow their designs out of the water. They had a generic font as their main logo. Which I still can't place where I've seen that font before. And some other designs etc. It kinda made me motivated to get back into drawing. So I've been thinking about it, looking at other peoples art. And it's just not pushing me into getting back to my dusty desk and getting back to work. Maybe it's cause I'm sick. Being sick sucks, I've been sick since thursdayish. I laid in bed all day and called out of work saturday, sunday i went to work but laid in bed for most of the day. And today I'm just feeling lazy, although I have quite a bit of cleaning to do. And work to get ready for in less than two hours. Guess I better get to it.
-Brains
-Brains
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
November
Is finally here. And with November approaches the end of marching season.
So soon? Yeah, I guess so.
The season passed by faster than a blink of an eye.
The season has been no less than enjoyable.
Sure-We've had those days, but who hasn't? They're pretty unavoidable.
All in all, I can say that I am satisfied with where we are in relation to where we started.
Last night, we laid on the field after rehearsal was said and done (which was pretty fantastic to say the least.)
The stars. They aren't extremely in-your-face visual, but they're there.
They're gorgeous. I never knew how peaceful the silence could be- when its dark and you're surrounded by people who you've grown close to.
There's nothing quite like Band and how its influenced my perspectives on life.
I definitely don't know what I'm going to do without this program next year.
It's helped me grown into my own shoes. And next year, I'll have to manage without it.
I'm really stressed over college. It's not a user-friendly system and I hardly understand what needs to go into it in order for me to be successful. Let alone where exactly I'm heading.I just know that I want to write music, or play music or something along those lines. I keep telling myself that I'll cross that bridge when I get there but its just right around the corner. I'm there, its just I'm in denial that I am.
I definitely need to step it up after the season ends.
Get a job, finish my College apps so I don't have to worry about them later, and get my Transcripts.
Here's to being a senior.
So soon? Yeah, I guess so.
The season passed by faster than a blink of an eye.
The season has been no less than enjoyable.
Sure-We've had those days, but who hasn't? They're pretty unavoidable.
All in all, I can say that I am satisfied with where we are in relation to where we started.
Last night, we laid on the field after rehearsal was said and done (which was pretty fantastic to say the least.)
The stars. They aren't extremely in-your-face visual, but they're there.
They're gorgeous. I never knew how peaceful the silence could be- when its dark and you're surrounded by people who you've grown close to.
There's nothing quite like Band and how its influenced my perspectives on life.
I definitely don't know what I'm going to do without this program next year.
It's helped me grown into my own shoes. And next year, I'll have to manage without it.
I'm really stressed over college. It's not a user-friendly system and I hardly understand what needs to go into it in order for me to be successful. Let alone where exactly I'm heading.I just know that I want to write music, or play music or something along those lines. I keep telling myself that I'll cross that bridge when I get there but its just right around the corner. I'm there, its just I'm in denial that I am.
I definitely need to step it up after the season ends.
Get a job, finish my College apps so I don't have to worry about them later, and get my Transcripts.
Here's to being a senior.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
16.5 Hours.
Hour -30.
Wake up, Wake up. the alarm goes off but i hate to get up.
I knew that if i stalled though, id be late. That wouldn't be the best example; no not for anyone.
I have to go, to start this long, long day.
Hour 1.
Arrive at Palo Verde begin the parking lot. Set cones down everywhere.
Ensure that people can't get in- we can't afford to lose spots for bus parking. Especially not today.
Hour 3.
Stop for a second, and eat breakfast. Everyone enjoys everyones company- and its a beautiful thing. We're all here for the same reason. Why? Passion.
Hour 4.
Get our cars out of the parking lot so that parents may find parking. Set sound shells up at the top of the pressbox so the 215 doesn't bother the video recording, very important.
Hour 5.
This is where everyone else starts. If we were normal, then we could have slept in and did all the work now. But life's way too short to be normal.
Hour 6.
Assume position of "band guide. "
Here we wait for our band to show up- so we can do just that. Guide them through warmup and performance.
Hour 8.
First bandguiding job. Spring Valley HIgh School
Sit and talk while the band warms up. The band has poor leadership and an awful show.
Hour 10.
Break. Get something to eat and grab our uniforms. I don't get to see you.
Hour 11.
Last bandguiding job. Coronado highschool. They're huge.
Hour 13.
Game time. Time to show who's boss.
Hour 14.
Awards.
Hour 15.
Clean up- I just want to go home.
Hour 16.5
Done.
Wake up, Wake up. the alarm goes off but i hate to get up.
I knew that if i stalled though, id be late. That wouldn't be the best example; no not for anyone.
I have to go, to start this long, long day.
Hour 1.
Arrive at Palo Verde begin the parking lot. Set cones down everywhere.
Ensure that people can't get in- we can't afford to lose spots for bus parking. Especially not today.
Hour 3.
Stop for a second, and eat breakfast. Everyone enjoys everyones company- and its a beautiful thing. We're all here for the same reason. Why? Passion.
Hour 4.
Get our cars out of the parking lot so that parents may find parking. Set sound shells up at the top of the pressbox so the 215 doesn't bother the video recording, very important.
Hour 5.
This is where everyone else starts. If we were normal, then we could have slept in and did all the work now. But life's way too short to be normal.
Hour 6.
Assume position of "band guide. "
Here we wait for our band to show up- so we can do just that. Guide them through warmup and performance.
Hour 8.
First bandguiding job. Spring Valley HIgh School
Sit and talk while the band warms up. The band has poor leadership and an awful show.
Hour 10.
Break. Get something to eat and grab our uniforms. I don't get to see you.
Hour 11.
Last bandguiding job. Coronado highschool. They're huge.
Hour 13.
Game time. Time to show who's boss.
Hour 14.
Awards.
Hour 15.
Clean up- I just want to go home.
Hour 16.5
Done.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
I haven't posted since...
Yo! It's been awhile since I've been here. Not much has changed, still not going to school, still doing graffiti. I opened up one of my old drawings and it was dated August 6th 2009. I have improved a lot in a year! Which gives me hope for my painting, slowly sucking less. I'm liking it though, although my bank account is not... I am attempting Lucid Dreaming now, haven't got it yet but hopefully soon. I wanna have those things every night lol. And I saw the most beautiful girl at work yesterday. Even cuter than the frozen yogurt girl, bet you guys never thought I'd say something like that haha. Magic is next week, maybe karma will be good to me and I'll see her there. I'm looking forward to it. I haven't gotten too far with shirt making, but it's still something I'm very interested in. 3 shirts should be done soon! I'm feeling really inspired right now, dunno why. And I finally got the piece done to hang up in the graffiti shop, next thing to do is make shelves for my spray paint and tips, cause those things need to get organized, I got colors and caps I don't even know about. Career hunting isn't goin all too good, so i'm turning to scholarships. As of tomorrow since I beat Splinter Cell Conviction after spending 11 hours of yesterdays 24 hours playing it lol. Peace out for another indefinite amount of time. Oh yea, and check out Lonely Toss by Jinesis, the video and the instrumental together are powerful. And thewordisbond.com for your underground hip hop needs. Lots of stuff you'll probably like Cyborg.
---Dime
---Dime
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Love ya down.
Here we go again. No huge gap this time though.
It's one-twenty-six in the AM. Isn't it ironic how I feel most motivated to blog before I go to bed nowadays?
Today has felt pretty long, but when you think back on things they always seem shorter don't they?
I went to the Meadows Mall in the morning after I woke up, and it's super weird that they now have a Toys R' Us?
Instead of American Eagle. That's odd. You'd think that the American Eagle franchise would make more then a silly toy company would ever. But anyways,
Auntie Jonna-Lynn(sp? idk) and Uncle Alex are in town this weekend, because they need to get married for legal purposes, which is entirely understandable.
So my mom, being the amazing person she is, found them a chapel, and tonight was the official ceremony although technically, the 'wedding' ceremony would be sometime in the future.
I still love to watch people get married and can't help but think if I will actually get married or remain as is. If I try to make it as a musician, that's not entirely a road I'd want to take with a committed relationship. But we will see, I guess. Time will only tell, it usually tells all.
Although everything was a little behind, it didn't really matter because the ceremony was short, sweet, and to the point. After all, it was only the 5 of us who witnessed the ceremony.
Of course, it was absolutely beautiful and marvelous to watch.
And afterwards, Cheesecake Factory, courtesy of Mom.
Our waiter was a juggler. He put on shows for us and yeah, it was quite entertaining.
But yeah there's all the boring stuff.
I messed around with garage band when i got home, and wow, what a program.
It was kinda like messing around with Fruity Loops, but gosh dang, Garage Band was some serious stuff and it was 20x more user friendly then that FL studio crap that crushed my dreams, haha. Hopefully i can make some innovative music with that.
That's about all for now.
It's one-twenty-six in the AM. Isn't it ironic how I feel most motivated to blog before I go to bed nowadays?
Today has felt pretty long, but when you think back on things they always seem shorter don't they?
I went to the Meadows Mall in the morning after I woke up, and it's super weird that they now have a Toys R' Us?
Instead of American Eagle. That's odd. You'd think that the American Eagle franchise would make more then a silly toy company would ever. But anyways,
Auntie Jonna-Lynn(sp? idk) and Uncle Alex are in town this weekend, because they need to get married for legal purposes, which is entirely understandable.
So my mom, being the amazing person she is, found them a chapel, and tonight was the official ceremony although technically, the 'wedding' ceremony would be sometime in the future.
I still love to watch people get married and can't help but think if I will actually get married or remain as is. If I try to make it as a musician, that's not entirely a road I'd want to take with a committed relationship. But we will see, I guess. Time will only tell, it usually tells all.
Although everything was a little behind, it didn't really matter because the ceremony was short, sweet, and to the point. After all, it was only the 5 of us who witnessed the ceremony.
Of course, it was absolutely beautiful and marvelous to watch.
And afterwards, Cheesecake Factory, courtesy of Mom.
Our waiter was a juggler. He put on shows for us and yeah, it was quite entertaining.
But yeah there's all the boring stuff.
I messed around with garage band when i got home, and wow, what a program.
It was kinda like messing around with Fruity Loops, but gosh dang, Garage Band was some serious stuff and it was 20x more user friendly then that FL studio crap that crushed my dreams, haha. Hopefully i can make some innovative music with that.
That's about all for now.
Friday, July 23, 2010
Now I'm alive, Do you like my style?
Summer.
Is actually quickly disseminating like sand running through your fingers.
Summer has changed so much in my life so far. Everything from finding out my leadership position to my brother saying farewell.
It's been quite the roller coaster.
It's actually been quite nothing doing until Eric came home, and so the true vacation began, as well as Eric's goodbyes.
Hawaii.
It was absolutely incredible, the entire experience. There was ample family time, amazing food, and good times.
Matthew is growing fast as ever. I saw him last a year ago and he's grown so much. I remember him playing piano with me last year, it was absolutely adorable. We had plenty of him and the peaceful waters of Hickam Beach. Kayaking is easier than it looks, and yes I would know simply because i beat my entire family at a kayak race ;) My favorite part of the vacation was the Lua'as. There's nothing quite like that experience. The food is incredible, and the entertainment is quite priceless. My Dad's side of the family is also doing quite well. Auntie Linda is taking good care of Grandpa and that's all we could ask for. Uncle Roger is doing better than ever before, Auntie and him have a steady income coming in and the kids are growing up. Kayla is turning into the way I was in middle school and I'm grateful to see that she is happy with a..boyfriend? :) By the end of the vacation i was ready to leave, and as always, the homecoming is always the best.
And it was only a couple days to pass by before we left again. This time to California to further Eric's Goodbyes.
In short, what I thought would be an unpleasant couple of days turned out to be a great time, and for the first time in a long time, I didn't want to leave. Over the course of 3 days I really tried my best to make of this experience because when I was younger, California was definitely the highlight of my summer every summer. In some ways, it was on the pretty high tier this year. We did things that made us have fun like go out to the movies and play Jenga (which is entirely entertaining with 70 year old Filipina Women) And they wanted to play Mario Kart until their noses were bleeding out with it. Spending the 4th there was definitely worth it, although part of me wanted to be with the band.
I hesitated to come home from California. Because i knew that it would only be a week until Eric left for his mission, which would be the hardest goodbye I'd ever have to say to him.
I don't recall much of what happened when, until Eric's Farewell.
The sacrament meeting was very emotional. His speech tore me to bits and pieces.I tried so hard not to cry, but when I hit that first note on the piano, the tears welled up and spilled. The most emotional playing I've ever experienced.
The open house after at the Thomas' was excellent. Great food and great setup for a great man's leave.
I can't wait to see how Eric's like when he comes back. He'll come back a man and I am so excited for him.
The day before he left, I got my license.
Oh boy, I had the worst tummy ache before I got it and thank goodness I was relieved to relieve myself. bahaha.
The test itself was really easy, and little before I knew it, I was a legal driver.
That Night Eric was set apart as a missionary, which was a huge wake up for me.
My brother's leaving and won't be back for 2 years.
Wednesday morning was self-explanatory, we said our goodbyes for 2 years. And how much I miss Eric already.
Aside of that, not much as been going on. I love driving by myself, there's no liberty like it. Enjoying your own music and going at your pace. I'm hoping for a car soon but I won't be so bummed if I don't get one right away.
Hopefully I make this a habit again, I don't want to not blog my senior year.
Is actually quickly disseminating like sand running through your fingers.
Summer has changed so much in my life so far. Everything from finding out my leadership position to my brother saying farewell.
It's been quite the roller coaster.
It's actually been quite nothing doing until Eric came home, and so the true vacation began, as well as Eric's goodbyes.
Hawaii.
It was absolutely incredible, the entire experience. There was ample family time, amazing food, and good times.
Matthew is growing fast as ever. I saw him last a year ago and he's grown so much. I remember him playing piano with me last year, it was absolutely adorable. We had plenty of him and the peaceful waters of Hickam Beach. Kayaking is easier than it looks, and yes I would know simply because i beat my entire family at a kayak race ;) My favorite part of the vacation was the Lua'as. There's nothing quite like that experience. The food is incredible, and the entertainment is quite priceless. My Dad's side of the family is also doing quite well. Auntie Linda is taking good care of Grandpa and that's all we could ask for. Uncle Roger is doing better than ever before, Auntie and him have a steady income coming in and the kids are growing up. Kayla is turning into the way I was in middle school and I'm grateful to see that she is happy with a..boyfriend? :) By the end of the vacation i was ready to leave, and as always, the homecoming is always the best.
And it was only a couple days to pass by before we left again. This time to California to further Eric's Goodbyes.
In short, what I thought would be an unpleasant couple of days turned out to be a great time, and for the first time in a long time, I didn't want to leave. Over the course of 3 days I really tried my best to make of this experience because when I was younger, California was definitely the highlight of my summer every summer. In some ways, it was on the pretty high tier this year. We did things that made us have fun like go out to the movies and play Jenga (which is entirely entertaining with 70 year old Filipina Women) And they wanted to play Mario Kart until their noses were bleeding out with it. Spending the 4th there was definitely worth it, although part of me wanted to be with the band.
I hesitated to come home from California. Because i knew that it would only be a week until Eric left for his mission, which would be the hardest goodbye I'd ever have to say to him.
I don't recall much of what happened when, until Eric's Farewell.
The sacrament meeting was very emotional. His speech tore me to bits and pieces.I tried so hard not to cry, but when I hit that first note on the piano, the tears welled up and spilled. The most emotional playing I've ever experienced.
The open house after at the Thomas' was excellent. Great food and great setup for a great man's leave.
I can't wait to see how Eric's like when he comes back. He'll come back a man and I am so excited for him.
The day before he left, I got my license.
Oh boy, I had the worst tummy ache before I got it and thank goodness I was relieved to relieve myself. bahaha.
The test itself was really easy, and little before I knew it, I was a legal driver.
That Night Eric was set apart as a missionary, which was a huge wake up for me.
My brother's leaving and won't be back for 2 years.
Wednesday morning was self-explanatory, we said our goodbyes for 2 years. And how much I miss Eric already.
Aside of that, not much as been going on. I love driving by myself, there's no liberty like it. Enjoying your own music and going at your pace. I'm hoping for a car soon but I won't be so bummed if I don't get one right away.
Hopefully I make this a habit again, I don't want to not blog my senior year.
Monday, June 7, 2010
ahh.
its relaxing.
i get to wake up at whenever.
do whatever.
go to sleep whenver.
that sounds like a typical day.
this past weekend was interesting to say the least.
jackie jack had to leave which is depressing, and leaves me with no one to hangout with remotely close to my house which was convenient.
he's gone to annapolis for his navy shindig, then he's going to north carolina then china. i'm happy for him.
alex leaves this thursday. which is really sad cause he lived close and has a car.
i'm gonna be hanging out with alot less people in a few weeks, haha.
i was supposed to hangout with shay today, but like all good plans, they always manage to get foiled. something in me tells me that somehow they'll shine through but i doubt that.
i still haven't seen ryan, haha.
farah's doing whatever with her fancy "tumblr" so i doubt she'll be back anytime before she gets distracted.
so here i am, still here.
still here for another year at least.
college is the biggest thing that scares me.
i really would like to go to university of northern colorado, they have a bomb music program.
so maybe parents will drive me up there one day, idk.
soon enough i'll have to think about leaving home, leaving what has been created here.
this foundation was nothing short of fantastic.
despite the weather and the city i'd live in summerlin all my life.
everything is easy going. not a shady character around. (except for taco bell, of course.)
apparently it isn't okay to leave sauce on the table. haha.
i guess i'm just kinda rambling on because i'm not getting the social attention i'm used to getting everyday, which is what this blog is for.
but regardless, i hope i see more faces in the next couple of days before i leave for vacation ( which is i have no idea when )
i love how long summer days are.
i get to wake up at whenever.
do whatever.
go to sleep whenver.
that sounds like a typical day.
this past weekend was interesting to say the least.
jackie jack had to leave which is depressing, and leaves me with no one to hangout with remotely close to my house which was convenient.
he's gone to annapolis for his navy shindig, then he's going to north carolina then china. i'm happy for him.
alex leaves this thursday. which is really sad cause he lived close and has a car.
i'm gonna be hanging out with alot less people in a few weeks, haha.
i was supposed to hangout with shay today, but like all good plans, they always manage to get foiled. something in me tells me that somehow they'll shine through but i doubt that.
i still haven't seen ryan, haha.
farah's doing whatever with her fancy "tumblr" so i doubt she'll be back anytime before she gets distracted.
so here i am, still here.
still here for another year at least.
college is the biggest thing that scares me.
i really would like to go to university of northern colorado, they have a bomb music program.
so maybe parents will drive me up there one day, idk.
soon enough i'll have to think about leaving home, leaving what has been created here.
this foundation was nothing short of fantastic.
despite the weather and the city i'd live in summerlin all my life.
everything is easy going. not a shady character around. (except for taco bell, of course.)
apparently it isn't okay to leave sauce on the table. haha.
i guess i'm just kinda rambling on because i'm not getting the social attention i'm used to getting everyday, which is what this blog is for.
but regardless, i hope i see more faces in the next couple of days before i leave for vacation ( which is i have no idea when )
i love how long summer days are.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
summer
is just a day shy. i can't believe it.
and whats kicking in?
that lovely summer feeling of loneliness. i wonder why i'm feeling it already.
believe it or not, i'm gonna be a senior. i'm on my way to becoming someone.
at least that's what i'd like to think.
i've been thinking alot lately.(thinking is bad)
since just this past friday actually.
this year's drum major interview did not go as well as last year's.
well, because this year was a giant failure on my part.
i've wasted so much time.
time i could be using to become a better person, wasted. with what, i don't know.
leaving that brutal interview with a rubbery taste in my mouth, i realized how much of a failure i am. hell, i don't even think i'm gonna get drum major next year, when last year i was so gung ho about it.
i hate the feeling like you're doing everything wrong.
and that's how i've felt all my life.
when i think of it, i learned how to play piano wrong.
i learned how to play trumpet wrong.
when i tried doing things as a drum major, i was wrong.
wrong, wrong, wrong.
and when i feel like i'm doing something right,i am wrong.
i couldn't play the moonlight sonata worth shit.
and half of the songs i've attempted to learn i've given up on.
what the hell kind of person am i?
i'm so ready to get out of highschool.
but before then, i'm gonna set some summer goals. these goals are to be done by the end of summer.
-read at least 3 books casually.
-learn a sonata.
-play the trumpet in the center of your mouth.
i'll start there.
i need a haircut.
well i guess precalc wont study itsself.
and whats kicking in?
that lovely summer feeling of loneliness. i wonder why i'm feeling it already.
believe it or not, i'm gonna be a senior. i'm on my way to becoming someone.
at least that's what i'd like to think.
i've been thinking alot lately.(thinking is bad)
since just this past friday actually.
this year's drum major interview did not go as well as last year's.
well, because this year was a giant failure on my part.
i've wasted so much time.
time i could be using to become a better person, wasted. with what, i don't know.
leaving that brutal interview with a rubbery taste in my mouth, i realized how much of a failure i am. hell, i don't even think i'm gonna get drum major next year, when last year i was so gung ho about it.
i hate the feeling like you're doing everything wrong.
and that's how i've felt all my life.
when i think of it, i learned how to play piano wrong.
i learned how to play trumpet wrong.
when i tried doing things as a drum major, i was wrong.
wrong, wrong, wrong.
and when i feel like i'm doing something right,i am wrong.
i couldn't play the moonlight sonata worth shit.
and half of the songs i've attempted to learn i've given up on.
what the hell kind of person am i?
i'm so ready to get out of highschool.
but before then, i'm gonna set some summer goals. these goals are to be done by the end of summer.
-read at least 3 books casually.
-learn a sonata.
-play the trumpet in the center of your mouth.
i'll start there.
i need a haircut.
well i guess precalc wont study itsself.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
cool down.
it's been longer that i would have liked that i've blogged. almost about a month. and geez, it's been a hell of a month.
right away, at the start of this month, jazz festival. and the week after that, honor jazz and the apush exam, which was easier than i anticipated it to be.
Hitting up leadership clinics here and there. Now, marching instruments are due. Soon enough it was our last evening rehearsal. Just last wednesday, we had our last concert of the year. My last leadership clinic. Just this past weekend was the lockin and picnic, which went extremely well.
So yesterday, was one of the best days of my entire life. If not the best.
Even though i had to suffer through waking up at 630 on a Saturday, well the day was well spent.
Arriving at school to pack up for the gig almost seems like nothing now. I've done it so many times that well, there's just nothing to it. This cord goes here. Extention there. Don't forget the Bass Drum pedal.
It was one of those inspiration gigs. Much like the Oppurtunity Village gig last year, this one was too, motivational in some sense. It was a gig down at New York, New York on the bridge. This time it was for the Parkinson's walk.
And after we played (oh thankfully, i brough my sunglasses.ADD i know.) It was fun time.
Alex mentioned a pretty sweet deal. We could ride the NY, NY coaster for 14 dollars, 2 for one. What better thant the whole jazz band riding the coaster in suits? Twice around is plenty of times for that rollercoaster. and it was just fantastic, never a dull moment.
The best part was that was just the beginning of the day.
After the load in, I still had to go home and change to get ready for the 2nd Annual Picnic. I never was a fan of the picnic, so i won't go into too much detal except that it was better than i anticipated and yeah, i had a great time.
Then, the Lock-in.
oh. the lock-in.
it brings back several memories from last year. some great, some terrible.
but man this year was fantastic. i love it. my favorite band event of every year, next to jazz fest.
listening to the seniors this year.
made me and alex realize.
"hey dude..
"yeah?
"we're next.
yeah. we are.
:)
right away, at the start of this month, jazz festival. and the week after that, honor jazz and the apush exam, which was easier than i anticipated it to be.
Hitting up leadership clinics here and there. Now, marching instruments are due. Soon enough it was our last evening rehearsal. Just last wednesday, we had our last concert of the year. My last leadership clinic. Just this past weekend was the lockin and picnic, which went extremely well.
So yesterday, was one of the best days of my entire life. If not the best.
Even though i had to suffer through waking up at 630 on a Saturday, well the day was well spent.
Arriving at school to pack up for the gig almost seems like nothing now. I've done it so many times that well, there's just nothing to it. This cord goes here. Extention there. Don't forget the Bass Drum pedal.
It was one of those inspiration gigs. Much like the Oppurtunity Village gig last year, this one was too, motivational in some sense. It was a gig down at New York, New York on the bridge. This time it was for the Parkinson's walk.
And after we played (oh thankfully, i brough my sunglasses.ADD i know.) It was fun time.
Alex mentioned a pretty sweet deal. We could ride the NY, NY coaster for 14 dollars, 2 for one. What better thant the whole jazz band riding the coaster in suits? Twice around is plenty of times for that rollercoaster. and it was just fantastic, never a dull moment.
The best part was that was just the beginning of the day.
After the load in, I still had to go home and change to get ready for the 2nd Annual Picnic. I never was a fan of the picnic, so i won't go into too much detal except that it was better than i anticipated and yeah, i had a great time.
Then, the Lock-in.
oh. the lock-in.
it brings back several memories from last year. some great, some terrible.
but man this year was fantastic. i love it. my favorite band event of every year, next to jazz fest.
listening to the seniors this year.
made me and alex realize.
"hey dude..
"yeah?
"we're next.
yeah. we are.
:)
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
pursuit.
the end of the year is finally in sight, and with the doing of a couple of end of the year rituals, i'll be out and a senior before i know it.
thank god.
every inch in me wants summer right now.
monday night was sheer torture. i went out with farah to get some fro-yo at uswirl after working a project at jacks, and it slapped me silly. how close summer was.
the sunset seemed to just play with the horizon.
the cool warm air embodied so many memories of last year.
its closer than i think.
we'd all like to think things don't change over summer, but let's get real.
they do. sooooo much.
for the good and the bad. my life is changing before me right now and it probably will in the next month a crapaload and i'll adapt.
agh. the torture.
/gh0st.
thank god.
every inch in me wants summer right now.
monday night was sheer torture. i went out with farah to get some fro-yo at uswirl after working a project at jacks, and it slapped me silly. how close summer was.
the sunset seemed to just play with the horizon.
the cool warm air embodied so many memories of last year.
its closer than i think.
we'd all like to think things don't change over summer, but let's get real.
they do. sooooo much.
for the good and the bad. my life is changing before me right now and it probably will in the next month a crapaload and i'll adapt.
agh. the torture.
/gh0st.
Monday, April 19, 2010
catchupdrill.
back to reality, i guess.
allstate was nothing short of amazing.
i'm so happy for music. i honestly don't know who i'd be without it.
i was surrounded by a bunch of guys who loved what they did.
and i never had so much fun on stage.
rob tapper himself was inspirational.
i learned alot about life, and about people that past week.
but its over now and i have to play catch up. in literally everything.
practice schedules gonna get all fucked up cause i have so much effing homework.
my grades aren't the best right now, but i plan to fix that.
i've overcome andrea this year,
i've overcome myself,
i've over come swimming,
now i've gotta overcome my grades. i really need to pick up the slack.
as well as learning more charts.
if colman nakano's gonna wanna jam, i better have my playing in line.
colman-he's the bass player from allstate, and he doesn't live to far from me, and is a bamf. i want to jam with him real bad.
and i think of it, and i just wanna play.
don't wanna stress.
don't wanna deal with grades or anything.
but that's where i'm heading. the grades are just the car i have to ride until i get there.
so in short, i'm gonna try my best.
it also helps that someones always gonna be here for me.
having a girlfriend is a great feeling.
i'm not taking anything too seriously. at least not until summer.
cause its just highschool and i'm just dating.
you know?
well i should get back to studying.
/gh0st.
allstate was nothing short of amazing.
i'm so happy for music. i honestly don't know who i'd be without it.
i was surrounded by a bunch of guys who loved what they did.
and i never had so much fun on stage.
rob tapper himself was inspirational.
i learned alot about life, and about people that past week.
but its over now and i have to play catch up. in literally everything.
practice schedules gonna get all fucked up cause i have so much effing homework.
my grades aren't the best right now, but i plan to fix that.
i've overcome andrea this year,
i've overcome myself,
i've over come swimming,
now i've gotta overcome my grades. i really need to pick up the slack.
as well as learning more charts.
if colman nakano's gonna wanna jam, i better have my playing in line.
colman-he's the bass player from allstate, and he doesn't live to far from me, and is a bamf. i want to jam with him real bad.
and i think of it, and i just wanna play.
don't wanna stress.
don't wanna deal with grades or anything.
but that's where i'm heading. the grades are just the car i have to ride until i get there.
so in short, i'm gonna try my best.
it also helps that someones always gonna be here for me.
having a girlfriend is a great feeling.
i'm not taking anything too seriously. at least not until summer.
cause its just highschool and i'm just dating.
you know?
well i should get back to studying.
/gh0st.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Too much dick in my life, nothing new.
I believe I find the right person for me & then they screw me over. Then I say I'm done messing with boys & then bam. 8 new guys show up.
I have 3 guys that I think are cute, but nothing too serious. I'm kinda still healing from Nathan. It sucks because, he was the one person I thought would not let me down. & he did. He proved himself no better than any of the other guys who he saw hurt me. Time after time, whats worse is the fact that he hurt me so much more than anyone has ever hurt me. I'm just glad to say that he is out of my life, so there is no need to dwell on things that are broken & impossible to fix. I have family, friends, my sisters & everyone else to be there for me. I don't need any guys to ruin this for me, but its soo hard whent they're all so adorable.
I have 3 guys that I think are cute, but nothing too serious. I'm kinda still healing from Nathan. It sucks because, he was the one person I thought would not let me down. & he did. He proved himself no better than any of the other guys who he saw hurt me. Time after time, whats worse is the fact that he hurt me so much more than anyone has ever hurt me. I'm just glad to say that he is out of my life, so there is no need to dwell on things that are broken & impossible to fix. I have family, friends, my sisters & everyone else to be there for me. I don't need any guys to ruin this for me, but its soo hard whent they're all so adorable.
Crazy!
So I just found out Eric's going on his mission. I can't even begin to comprehend that. Eric's been such a major figure in my life, its insane. I cant even believe what it will be like, not having him around for the holidays. I can't even believe where he's going! He's going to the philippines. A part of our culture. I couldn't be more proud of him, yet worried. This is such a crazy step but of course, it has Eric written all over it. Eric never does anything halfway, its something I've always admired. This is gonna be a crazy adventure for him, but its an oppertunity for him to grow. :D
I also just found out Kira is moving at the end of this month. She's moving to Missouri with her husband, so they can go to school together and such. It's so insane to think that she won't be living here anymore. So many important people in my life are getting out there & living and experiencing life. I feel so young still considering I'm still gonna be in vegas for at least another 3 to four years.
I also just found out Kira is moving at the end of this month. She's moving to Missouri with her husband, so they can go to school together and such. It's so insane to think that she won't be living here anymore. So many important people in my life are getting out there & living and experiencing life. I feel so young still considering I'm still gonna be in vegas for at least another 3 to four years.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
the end where i begin
so at 1047 pm,
after a very very exhausting day.
after only getting 4 hours of rest yesterday.
on the brink of falling asleep,
i want to write a blog?
why? dunno yet. let's dig in.
alex has been here since monday, and although this week has been so unproductive,
its been so worth it.
not to sound homo, but i tried my best to cherish what we had together for these days, and it was worth the effort.
there's not much to say but that nothings really changed. for the better at least.
swimming is getting easier.
i find it super easy to past the swimmers in our lane and out swim them.
and just when we get out, i don't wanna.
cause i feel like i can just keep going on and on.
ow, my finger hurts.
so everytime,
my heart feels with disgust. because it's gross what happened.
how i was miserable for that long over something stupid like that.
its terrible and i hate it.
anyways,
i would love to type more but the bed is luring me.
/gh0st.
after a very very exhausting day.
after only getting 4 hours of rest yesterday.
on the brink of falling asleep,
i want to write a blog?
why? dunno yet. let's dig in.
alex has been here since monday, and although this week has been so unproductive,
its been so worth it.
not to sound homo, but i tried my best to cherish what we had together for these days, and it was worth the effort.
there's not much to say but that nothings really changed. for the better at least.
swimming is getting easier.
i find it super easy to past the swimmers in our lane and out swim them.
and just when we get out, i don't wanna.
cause i feel like i can just keep going on and on.
ow, my finger hurts.
so everytime,
my heart feels with disgust. because it's gross what happened.
how i was miserable for that long over something stupid like that.
its terrible and i hate it.
anyways,
i would love to type more but the bed is luring me.
/gh0st.
Saturday, April 3, 2010
gh0st.
happy birthday, to me.
17 years. jeez.
anyways, this spring break has been pretty awesome for the most part despite the minor flaws, but then again what doesn't have flaws?
i've done a million things already, and one more on my list of things to do is to have a kickback for my birhtday tomorrow and i'm excited.
so these past couple days i've been at BYU.
what a great place.
these buildings, their enormous. classes in everywhich hallway and even more students to fill this campus. i see studying left and right, because these kids are trying to make a living through their studies.
17. one more year and i'm 18. i'm on my way to becoming like these college students.
pretty soon, i'll be following my dream. studying music all day everyday and never tiring from it. this new keyboard in my room is merely the start of a fulfulling life that i can't wait to get to, and is of utmost priority to me right now.
so i'll keep being me, not like i have a choice.
hopefully tomorrow goes well. not many of my best friends can make it but i wont' doubt that it'll be a good time. it's always good to see the people you live, who make your life worth living, and it'll be just that. hopefully we'll have fun.
the beginning of my birthday hasn't been the best. let's hope things get better, they always do.
/gh0st.
17 years. jeez.
anyways, this spring break has been pretty awesome for the most part despite the minor flaws, but then again what doesn't have flaws?
i've done a million things already, and one more on my list of things to do is to have a kickback for my birhtday tomorrow and i'm excited.
so these past couple days i've been at BYU.
what a great place.
these buildings, their enormous. classes in everywhich hallway and even more students to fill this campus. i see studying left and right, because these kids are trying to make a living through their studies.
17. one more year and i'm 18. i'm on my way to becoming like these college students.
pretty soon, i'll be following my dream. studying music all day everyday and never tiring from it. this new keyboard in my room is merely the start of a fulfulling life that i can't wait to get to, and is of utmost priority to me right now.
so i'll keep being me, not like i have a choice.
hopefully tomorrow goes well. not many of my best friends can make it but i wont' doubt that it'll be a good time. it's always good to see the people you live, who make your life worth living, and it'll be just that. hopefully we'll have fun.
the beginning of my birthday hasn't been the best. let's hope things get better, they always do.
/gh0st.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
pause this game.
so i can breath just a little bit.
relentless doesn't have a limit.
the conclusions we make from the sights we take, make the strongest the most vulnerable to break.
breathe into me, the doors are waiting to close.
and the elevator dings itself shut, we're the only ones to know
that we escape to this other reality
a peaceful place, that's just you and me
deciding not to take life so seriously,
because some of the greatest things are not cracked up with what they are to be
watching her awkwardly from the distance , her glare's upon me
cause i sang and i danced, without a trouble or a worry
and although her friend wanted to play with me,
i fulfilly declined cause i wanted to be free.
free from the trouble and free from the sad,
i just wanna see the good without thinking about the bad
it seems like she's bitter, and me? just a tad
i'm pushing myself, i think i can, i know i can.
challenge after challenge, struggle after struggle,
i kick my feet over my head and out of my nose i breathe bubbles,
cause i push off of the walls and i continue the race,
nothing can hold you back in water, 100's about pace
stroke after stroke, my body wants to give in
but i can't do that, that's not the life i want to live in
the gh0st of the present destroys the ghost of the past,
and every time your kickin, you just wanna go fast
but if you sprint too much, you kill the point of the race,
just get to the other side, cause in life speeds not the case.
/gh0st.
relentless doesn't have a limit.
the conclusions we make from the sights we take, make the strongest the most vulnerable to break.
breathe into me, the doors are waiting to close.
and the elevator dings itself shut, we're the only ones to know
that we escape to this other reality
a peaceful place, that's just you and me
deciding not to take life so seriously,
because some of the greatest things are not cracked up with what they are to be
watching her awkwardly from the distance , her glare's upon me
cause i sang and i danced, without a trouble or a worry
and although her friend wanted to play with me,
i fulfilly declined cause i wanted to be free.
free from the trouble and free from the sad,
i just wanna see the good without thinking about the bad
it seems like she's bitter, and me? just a tad
i'm pushing myself, i think i can, i know i can.
challenge after challenge, struggle after struggle,
i kick my feet over my head and out of my nose i breathe bubbles,
cause i push off of the walls and i continue the race,
nothing can hold you back in water, 100's about pace
stroke after stroke, my body wants to give in
but i can't do that, that's not the life i want to live in
the gh0st of the present destroys the ghost of the past,
and every time your kickin, you just wanna go fast
but if you sprint too much, you kill the point of the race,
just get to the other side, cause in life speeds not the case.
/gh0st.
Monday, March 22, 2010
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
believe.
its a tuesday, possibly the worst day of the week. but this week goes by fast.
it will at least. lately i've been so busy that when i'm not busy i feel like i should be doing something of some sort of productivity. there's alot that i have to get to this month and the month after. so i'll take it easy now, i guess.
there's been lots of change. lots and lots lately.
the busiest part of the year for band is over, thank goodness.
we received superior ratings all around as expected.
and hey i can't wait for the int'l trip next year. it'll be great. :)
the practices get harder everyday for me. i'm not gonna lie its tough and at times i just want to give in but don't count on that. there will be no giving up and i gotta push through. because i know if i do it'll be a rewarding experience.
school is school as it always has been.
but now, there's hope. new hope.
i don't know what to make of this exactly yet. should i let this unfold?
i know i'm scared. but i know i'd like to again.
it kinda sounds like what happened last summer all over again. except what happened previous isn't as redeemable as it was previous.
am i gonna go for it? i don't know the answer to that question yet.
somethings holding me back but idk what it is.
i hate how ironic things turn out sometimes. i have a feeling this situation will prove to be very cynical.
gh0st.
it will at least. lately i've been so busy that when i'm not busy i feel like i should be doing something of some sort of productivity. there's alot that i have to get to this month and the month after. so i'll take it easy now, i guess.
there's been lots of change. lots and lots lately.
the busiest part of the year for band is over, thank goodness.
we received superior ratings all around as expected.
and hey i can't wait for the int'l trip next year. it'll be great. :)
the practices get harder everyday for me. i'm not gonna lie its tough and at times i just want to give in but don't count on that. there will be no giving up and i gotta push through. because i know if i do it'll be a rewarding experience.
school is school as it always has been.
but now, there's hope. new hope.
i don't know what to make of this exactly yet. should i let this unfold?
i know i'm scared. but i know i'd like to again.
it kinda sounds like what happened last summer all over again. except what happened previous isn't as redeemable as it was previous.
am i gonna go for it? i don't know the answer to that question yet.
somethings holding me back but idk what it is.
i hate how ironic things turn out sometimes. i have a feeling this situation will prove to be very cynical.
gh0st.
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Big Breath
let's play a game.
let's get in the water. swim to the other side and back and see who wins.
i had my first swim meet ever yesterday.
what i thought was going to be a drag, turned out to be a fun and exciting day.
warmup was hell though.
okay, 100yd freestyle.
i want 50 yds of each stroke
and again.
then dives.
jeeeezus.
but any ways. for my times for my first meet.
freestyle : 42 sec
butterfly : i refuse to know
back: 47 sec (this is going to be my stroke. i know it.)
breast: 43 sec
afterwards i went out to cheesecake factory with my family.
then to the bookstore down in best of the west and i dropped by ryans work to keep him some company for like 5 minutes and i got home and played COD until ryan arrived.
COD. omg, haha.
i'm getting ridiculous at this noscoping stuff.
its too addicting. but anyways,
its about halfways through lent. i looked back at my resolutions from last year. they were something along the lines of this.
-get my life together
-get back in shape
-take care of yourself
-read more
and of that? well i've done all of it. and i will keep doing it.
this no-facebook thing is really working out in my favor. thank god. :)
gh0st.
let's get in the water. swim to the other side and back and see who wins.
i had my first swim meet ever yesterday.
what i thought was going to be a drag, turned out to be a fun and exciting day.
warmup was hell though.
okay, 100yd freestyle.
i want 50 yds of each stroke
and again.
then dives.
jeeeezus.
but any ways. for my times for my first meet.
freestyle : 42 sec
butterfly : i refuse to know
back: 47 sec (this is going to be my stroke. i know it.)
breast: 43 sec
afterwards i went out to cheesecake factory with my family.
then to the bookstore down in best of the west and i dropped by ryans work to keep him some company for like 5 minutes and i got home and played COD until ryan arrived.
COD. omg, haha.
i'm getting ridiculous at this noscoping stuff.
its too addicting. but anyways,
its about halfways through lent. i looked back at my resolutions from last year. they were something along the lines of this.
-get my life together
-get back in shape
-take care of yourself
-read more
and of that? well i've done all of it. and i will keep doing it.
this no-facebook thing is really working out in my favor. thank god. :)
gh0st.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
diving right in.
this week has been just that. in the water and out.
swimming. i'm doing it cause i didn't think i could.
so i'm proving myself wrong. one step at a time.
when i first started 25 yards was my enemy. now i can probably swim a 100 yard freestyle no problem. backstroke maybe. breast yeah and fly is well fly.
i've been barely getting sleep this week too it seems. its whatevskies though.
i'm plowing right along.
-jason
swimming. i'm doing it cause i didn't think i could.
so i'm proving myself wrong. one step at a time.
when i first started 25 yards was my enemy. now i can probably swim a 100 yard freestyle no problem. backstroke maybe. breast yeah and fly is well fly.
i've been barely getting sleep this week too it seems. its whatevskies though.
i'm plowing right along.
-jason
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Point/Counterpoint
I've got a gun in my hand but that gun won't cock
My finger's on the trigger but that trigger seems locked
I can't stop staring at the tick-tock clock
And even if I could I would never give up
With a vest on my chest, a bullet in my lung
I can't believe I'm dying with my song unsung
And if and when I die won't you bury me alone?
Because I'll never get to heaven if I'm singing this song:
If there was something wrong would you be oh so strong?
Would you do what it takes to move this hollow life along?
I'd like to think I would, you know I'd like to think I would
But I guarantee that what you see is not reality
And every time she makes a point I make a counterpoint
She said, "It's easy but in the end you'll have no choice,
And you know that's only just the way it goes."
(You said it right man, that is just the way it goes)
And the days, and the days they seem like forever
And the days, and the days they seem like forever
But forever isn't ever enough
I'd like to sing a song (promise you won't be long)
I'll try not to be long but I don't want to get this story wrong
There was a kid who never cared about the little things
Don't even bother 'cause I'm tired and I'm sick of it
And every time she makes a point I'll make a counterpoint
She said, "It's easy but in the end you'll have no choice,
and you know that's only just the way it goes."
(You said it right man, that is just the way it goes)
[chorus]
Oh, you don't know where I've been
Oh, you don't know what I've seen
If I did something right
Would you give up this fight?
Would you say you were wrong and maybe someone else was kind of right
I'd like to think you would, you know I'd like to think you would
But I can't guarantee that what you get is an apology
Jump back to the day we met I never
Thought that it would end this way if ever
I let you down I want to ask of you
To take it down a notch and we can talk it on through
And the days, and the days they seem like forever
And the days, and the days they seem like forever
But forever isn't ever enough
I'd like to sing a song (promise you won't be long)
I'll try not to be long but i don't want to get this story wrong
there was a chick who never cared about the little things
don't bother 'cause i still don't give a shit
and every time she makes a point i'll make a counterpoint
she said it's easy but in the end you'll have no choice
and you know that's only just the way it goes
(you said it right man, that is just the way it goes)
[chorus]
Oh, you don't know where I've been
Oh, you don't know what I've seen
So tell me friend: how's it going to end?
When the shit goes down
And there's no one left around to get your back
You'll crack
You'll smile and agree with everything they say
They'll try to tell you that it's all okay
But it's not and you're shot and you're bleeding pretty bad
And you can't stop thinking about the things you never had
Like a wife and a kid and the things you never did
You're running around
You're living a life that's empty in the end, my friend
No, you'll take back all you've said
Oh, when the regrets fill your head
Trust me I've been there before
I would not wish it upon my greatest enemy
What irony
Once friends, but I find: you'll have to learn this lesson on your own
So I waited by the phone but that phone never rang
And I sang so loud so I wouldn't hear the bang
When the bang never came
And I never got the call: Fuck it! Thank you! I love you all!
Some are going to say that we're doomed to repeat
All our past mistakes
Great
But that's not me
And even if it was I would always disagree
Because in the end I always get the better of me
[chorus]
Oh, I'll take you where I've been
Oh, I'll show you what I've seen
My finger's on the trigger but that trigger seems locked
I can't stop staring at the tick-tock clock
And even if I could I would never give up
With a vest on my chest, a bullet in my lung
I can't believe I'm dying with my song unsung
And if and when I die won't you bury me alone?
Because I'll never get to heaven if I'm singing this song:
If there was something wrong would you be oh so strong?
Would you do what it takes to move this hollow life along?
I'd like to think I would, you know I'd like to think I would
But I guarantee that what you see is not reality
And every time she makes a point I make a counterpoint
She said, "It's easy but in the end you'll have no choice,
And you know that's only just the way it goes."
(You said it right man, that is just the way it goes)
And the days, and the days they seem like forever
And the days, and the days they seem like forever
But forever isn't ever enough
I'd like to sing a song (promise you won't be long)
I'll try not to be long but I don't want to get this story wrong
There was a kid who never cared about the little things
Don't even bother 'cause I'm tired and I'm sick of it
And every time she makes a point I'll make a counterpoint
She said, "It's easy but in the end you'll have no choice,
and you know that's only just the way it goes."
(You said it right man, that is just the way it goes)
[chorus]
Oh, you don't know where I've been
Oh, you don't know what I've seen
If I did something right
Would you give up this fight?
Would you say you were wrong and maybe someone else was kind of right
I'd like to think you would, you know I'd like to think you would
But I can't guarantee that what you get is an apology
Jump back to the day we met I never
Thought that it would end this way if ever
I let you down I want to ask of you
To take it down a notch and we can talk it on through
And the days, and the days they seem like forever
And the days, and the days they seem like forever
But forever isn't ever enough
I'd like to sing a song (promise you won't be long)
I'll try not to be long but i don't want to get this story wrong
there was a chick who never cared about the little things
don't bother 'cause i still don't give a shit
and every time she makes a point i'll make a counterpoint
she said it's easy but in the end you'll have no choice
and you know that's only just the way it goes
(you said it right man, that is just the way it goes)
[chorus]
Oh, you don't know where I've been
Oh, you don't know what I've seen
So tell me friend: how's it going to end?
When the shit goes down
And there's no one left around to get your back
You'll crack
You'll smile and agree with everything they say
They'll try to tell you that it's all okay
But it's not and you're shot and you're bleeding pretty bad
And you can't stop thinking about the things you never had
Like a wife and a kid and the things you never did
You're running around
You're living a life that's empty in the end, my friend
No, you'll take back all you've said
Oh, when the regrets fill your head
Trust me I've been there before
I would not wish it upon my greatest enemy
What irony
Once friends, but I find: you'll have to learn this lesson on your own
So I waited by the phone but that phone never rang
And I sang so loud so I wouldn't hear the bang
When the bang never came
And I never got the call: Fuck it! Thank you! I love you all!
Some are going to say that we're doomed to repeat
All our past mistakes
Great
But that's not me
And even if it was I would always disagree
Because in the end I always get the better of me
[chorus]
Oh, I'll take you where I've been
Oh, I'll show you what I've seen
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Endless Corridors
the closer i get to the light it seems, the farther it gets.
it sucks how one day you'll feel on top of the world and the next your will to live is virtually nonexistant. i don't know if that's just me.
there are times where i have so much hope. i look towards the future and push straight ahead through everything.
but then there are times where the hope isn't there so much anymore. i feel like the weight i have to carry is immensley increased, like wading through a swamp that's waist high.
i don't know.
since when have i actually been happy? and not feeding off of the joy i get from someone else?
i am happy when i am at the piano. but the affection you get from another human really doesn't compare.
it comes and goes i guess.
its been almost three months. why am i still counting?
i thought it was no more.
its been three months. and i've changed since then.
its been three months, and while i thought to have gotten her out of my head, these flashbacks, well they dont help my situation. its the worst, because you think about every single small detail. well i do at least.
why do we fear the inevitable?
if we do well we might as well go live in the poverty. and just die off.
it just really makes me wonder if that's done with and gone or if maybe one day, it will be what it was in the past.
not that i still have feelings for her. but the memories were nice.
just running down these endless corridors, searching for whats right. for me at least.
it sucks how one day you'll feel on top of the world and the next your will to live is virtually nonexistant. i don't know if that's just me.
there are times where i have so much hope. i look towards the future and push straight ahead through everything.
but then there are times where the hope isn't there so much anymore. i feel like the weight i have to carry is immensley increased, like wading through a swamp that's waist high.
i don't know.
since when have i actually been happy? and not feeding off of the joy i get from someone else?
i am happy when i am at the piano. but the affection you get from another human really doesn't compare.
it comes and goes i guess.
its been almost three months. why am i still counting?
i thought it was no more.
its been three months. and i've changed since then.
its been three months, and while i thought to have gotten her out of my head, these flashbacks, well they dont help my situation. its the worst, because you think about every single small detail. well i do at least.
why do we fear the inevitable?
if we do well we might as well go live in the poverty. and just die off.
it just really makes me wonder if that's done with and gone or if maybe one day, it will be what it was in the past.
not that i still have feelings for her. but the memories were nice.
just running down these endless corridors, searching for whats right. for me at least.
Sunday, February 7, 2010
the weekends get shorter.
the weeks seem to get longer, and the weekends aren't as long as i need them to be.
i've been real busy lately. with school, and solo and ensemble, and i went swimming yesterday as well, but we'll touch that in second.
so this weekend was pretty fun.
friday night i chilled with alex and emilio, and went to see jchao at work, which seemed like a good idea until she ignored me the whole time. oh well, idc, maybe its cause she's at work. but hope is gone there, but whatevskies.
other than that, i scored lucky kills on alex and emilio all night on mw2:D
yesterday was great.
i slept in, because it was nice and dark in my room. and it was only an hour til i had plans to get "dive" into swimming with connor and jack.
which seemed like a good idea at the time, that until i cramped my left calf. so i shook it off, strecthed it until it wasn't bothering me anymore, and next thing i know, my right calf cramped. haha, yeah it was great.
we went to my house afterwards and played kingdom hearts and just kinda kicked back and tried to figure out lazerquest.
funny thing was me, alex, and jack were all supposed to have dates.
well my date, which was supposed to be jchao, didn't really work out. so i asked sarah ballard, and she told me she wanted to, but she had to babysit. i was going to ask kristen, but she was hanging out with arielle and i know how that is. and i asked alex neely and she said maybe, but i honestly didn't want to bring her unless i absolutely had to. so, next option? andrea rathbun? sure, why not. :D so it wasn't really much of a date. just a hang.
and there was a catch. THE catch. the catch-22? she had to bring chalktalk. (rofl)
so alex was supposed to bring kelsie gerdon(chick from the farm) but she was being a flake, so he asked kaite fox but she was being a bitch, so i told him to ask jchao instead of me, but she still didn't come. rofl.
jack wanted to bring shay, but shay was babysitting. so he tried to get olivia but she was with her horse, and tried to ask cassidy cutter but she was at the movies.
WE FAIL AT GETTING DATES. lol
something out of the ordinary that inspires me?
well.
i get alot of inspiration out of underground artists. because i guess im underground in a metaphorical way too. we're all kinda on the same boat. and i want to make my music as amazing as theirs one day.
/cyborg.
i've been real busy lately. with school, and solo and ensemble, and i went swimming yesterday as well, but we'll touch that in second.
so this weekend was pretty fun.
friday night i chilled with alex and emilio, and went to see jchao at work, which seemed like a good idea until she ignored me the whole time. oh well, idc, maybe its cause she's at work. but hope is gone there, but whatevskies.
other than that, i scored lucky kills on alex and emilio all night on mw2:D
yesterday was great.
i slept in, because it was nice and dark in my room. and it was only an hour til i had plans to get "dive" into swimming with connor and jack.
which seemed like a good idea at the time, that until i cramped my left calf. so i shook it off, strecthed it until it wasn't bothering me anymore, and next thing i know, my right calf cramped. haha, yeah it was great.
we went to my house afterwards and played kingdom hearts and just kinda kicked back and tried to figure out lazerquest.
funny thing was me, alex, and jack were all supposed to have dates.
well my date, which was supposed to be jchao, didn't really work out. so i asked sarah ballard, and she told me she wanted to, but she had to babysit. i was going to ask kristen, but she was hanging out with arielle and i know how that is. and i asked alex neely and she said maybe, but i honestly didn't want to bring her unless i absolutely had to. so, next option? andrea rathbun? sure, why not. :D so it wasn't really much of a date. just a hang.
and there was a catch. THE catch. the catch-22? she had to bring chalktalk. (rofl)
so alex was supposed to bring kelsie gerdon(chick from the farm) but she was being a flake, so he asked kaite fox but she was being a bitch, so i told him to ask jchao instead of me, but she still didn't come. rofl.
jack wanted to bring shay, but shay was babysitting. so he tried to get olivia but she was with her horse, and tried to ask cassidy cutter but she was at the movies.
WE FAIL AT GETTING DATES. lol
something out of the ordinary that inspires me?
well.
i get alot of inspiration out of underground artists. because i guess im underground in a metaphorical way too. we're all kinda on the same boat. and i want to make my music as amazing as theirs one day.
/cyborg.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
An Optimum one
Today, well today I got up and watched fresh prince of bel air, then was gonna play mgs 3 for an hour, well that turned into a few. There is so many uniforms to get. And I started another file since I beat it. Then painted a little bit, went to work, got extended again till 10. Did you know there was a con man in new York from way back that sold the manhattan bridge twice a week. That's pretty cool right there, he got caught though and had to go to jail, that put a little downer on it. I'm considering now to buy some lockpicks once again. Finally I can learn how to pick locks. On another note, I got another job opportunity at work today, gonna meet with him sometime next week at a starbucks to talk about it. Maybe it can make me some money. I can move to San Francisco soon as my friends get the ok from their landlord. Then I call the DSW up there and see if they'll let me transfer so I have a job. I'm gonna miss driving my car, we have a date tomorrow :D I'm thinking it'll run me around $300, golddigger she is. But I love her, she treats me nice most of the time :P anyway, this is coming to a close, now. The end. What's something out of the ordinary that inspires you?
where we are.
today was a day of sorts.
nothing to exciting in the morning, except that my physics teacher was a beast in NASA, and shot a tank with a gattling gun before. (pro)
sarah ballard was gorgeous today. its so ridiculous.
froelich is off the rocker, rumor is? that her stress level is getting so high that she is in danger for heart attack. she needs a day off or two, or five. i'm kinda worried, supposedly crying this morning? wow.
she's losing it. weird, cause i'm gaining momentum again.
i've been rehearsing with people for solo and ensemble, and its not as tedious as it was before and i feel pretty confident about what i need to do. and of course the money that will be in my pocket.
the end of the day was really interesting. there was a guard sectional in the bandroom today, so me and connor chilled in the office and blasted some music and were througougly embarrased by dancing being oblvious to the whole colorguard watching. (just my luck.)
after the rehearsal, they all go home, but one calls me. stephy.
and she asks if connor can take her home, and i felt bad saying no. so i just walked her home.
i went inside and she has a nice home. home alone? yeah. did i try anything? nah, you would i think i would have, but it was just nice to chill.
so connor picked me back up and we ran back to school to do his stuff for his audition which went well. and after he treated me to dinner at bdubs for which danny and beans joined us.
and came home,well here i am. downloading the new ipod update and hopefully off to bed soon.
ryan, we need to chill soon.
/cyborg.
nothing to exciting in the morning, except that my physics teacher was a beast in NASA, and shot a tank with a gattling gun before. (pro)
sarah ballard was gorgeous today. its so ridiculous.
froelich is off the rocker, rumor is? that her stress level is getting so high that she is in danger for heart attack. she needs a day off or two, or five. i'm kinda worried, supposedly crying this morning? wow.
she's losing it. weird, cause i'm gaining momentum again.
i've been rehearsing with people for solo and ensemble, and its not as tedious as it was before and i feel pretty confident about what i need to do. and of course the money that will be in my pocket.
the end of the day was really interesting. there was a guard sectional in the bandroom today, so me and connor chilled in the office and blasted some music and were througougly embarrased by dancing being oblvious to the whole colorguard watching. (just my luck.)
after the rehearsal, they all go home, but one calls me. stephy.
and she asks if connor can take her home, and i felt bad saying no. so i just walked her home.
i went inside and she has a nice home. home alone? yeah. did i try anything? nah, you would i think i would have, but it was just nice to chill.
so connor picked me back up and we ran back to school to do his stuff for his audition which went well. and after he treated me to dinner at bdubs for which danny and beans joined us.
and came home,well here i am. downloading the new ipod update and hopefully off to bed soon.
ryan, we need to chill soon.
/cyborg.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Reflections in the water
Today has been a good day. I woke up, ate my waffles(that 60 pack from costco is still not gone :D) while watching some fresh prince. No matter how many times I've seen it I've never gotten tired of it. Great show. Anyway, I tried making another screen to use to print on a shirt, an I messed up another sheet of emulsion, those things are 9 bucks a piece man. But in the process of messing it up I figured out how to do it right. So I can now make one tomorrow, yea right. I gotta get up early, exercise for once lately then go paint the shed walls white. It's gonna be so much fun I wanna go to sleep now just so it gets here sooner. Lmao, just playing, but it won't be too bad. I've found comfort in working. 8 hours of work today, wasn't bad at all. Chores when I get home, still not bad. Painting tomorrow, sure. Work at my moms work, ok. It's fun. Not as fun as playing metal gear solid. But I feel much more accomplished. I'm gonna draw a little now then off to sleep. We gotta hang again soon Jason.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
place to be.
is it here?
is it now?
sometimes i wonder.
but when i play, i know its here.
a love affair with sound. nothing more, nothing less.
/cyborg.
is it now?
sometimes i wonder.
but when i play, i know its here.
a love affair with sound. nothing more, nothing less.
/cyborg.
Monday, February 1, 2010
Realization G
I haven't blogged in a long time. Farah's actually posted more than me haha. So, I don't have much to write about, nothing been really going on with my life. My car is leaking water somewhere near the engine so this weekend I'll be working on it. I'm pretty excited, I miss working on cars, I don't miss doing nearly everything wrong, or not being able to remember where things go, but working on engines I miss none the less. I've been playing metal gear solid a lot lately. My friends mark and Jeromy moved up to San Francisco, I wish I was up there with them, but I'm not, one day I will be. Hopefully soon. Work has been going good. I'm getting 16 scheduled hours, 20 or more when I take other peoples shifts like last week, I got around 26 hours, it's gonna be a nice check. That's about it. No girl or relationship problems. I did realize Jason has a few girls that like him, and farah's got a few guys that wanna get with her, and I've got no one. Is that a good thing I wonder? Maybe it makes me the smart one? No wonder I'm Brains haha. But then again some nights it gets pretty lonely. But what can you do? I do miss Yuki, texting her to pass the time while I was in the emergency room, starting to hang out at school andon bus routes, it all came together so nicely, it was awkward to talk, which is a bad sign, but I'm sure we could've fixed it, just had to getmore used to each other. I was gonna ask her out at homecoming, but she changed her mind a week before. Then I found out through Kim Yuki decided not to go because she liked me and I wasn't showing any signs that I liked her back. Man I wish I could try again with her. She's got a boyfriend now, they've been going good for awhile too. That's life I guess? What can I do? Nothing, Dante's Peak is on now, it's a good movie. Have you noticed in commercials the only Asian girls they show are ones that look part white, and if they don't they don't speak lmao. Anyway, so much for not having much to write. Till next time, hopefully it won't be so long as last time.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
irritable.
judas fucking priest, man.
headaches are literally the worst thing to ever happen to man.
i think i'm driving my self insane one fucking step at a time.
god i feel lonely.
headaches are literally the worst thing to ever happen to man.
i think i'm driving my self insane one fucking step at a time.
god i feel lonely.
Monday, January 25, 2010
Sunday, January 24, 2010
N's Playlist < 3
This playlist is dedicated so someone extremely special to me. Someone who knows me better than anyone else on this planet. I love him with all my heart, but now is not our time. It's best to look forward & be there for each other no matter what! Here's to the good & the bad. The past & the Future. I love nathan dean dimalanta, more than ANYTHING.
1. Wait for you Elliot Yamin
2. Makes me wonder Maroon 5
3. Wake up call Maroon 5
4. I want you back *NSYNC
5. Bored of your love Meg & Dia
6. Tearin’ up my heart *NSYNC
7. Only you Ashanti
8. Two is better than one Boys Like Girls
9. Shake it off Mariah Carey
10. A little too not over you David Archuleta
11. Everything you want Vertical Horizon
12. We belong together Mariah Carey
13. The two of us *NSYNC
14. Here we go again Demi Lovato
15. I could get used to this The Veronicas
16. Like U Bow Wow & Ciara
17. Mine again Mariah Carey
18. Thunder Boys Like Girls
19. Hands down Dashboard Confessional
20. Up against the wall Boys Like Girls
21. In another life The Veronicas
22. Always be my baby Mariah Carey
23. If you see Kay The Script
24. She will be loved Maroon 5
25. Don’t forget about us Mariah Carey
26. Always be my baby David Cook
27. Addicted Saving Abel
28. Touch my body Mariah Carey
29. What goes around….Comes around Justin Timberlake
30. So Lonely (One & Only Part II) Mariah Carey
31. We belong together (Remix) Mariah Carey
32. Do you remember Jay Sean ft. Sean Paul & Lil’ Jon
33. Won’t go home without you Maroon 5
34. Battlefield Jordin Sparks
35. Love Story Taylor Swift
36. How do you sleep Jesse McCartney
37. Gone --? *NSYNC
38. It’s gonna be me *NSYNC
39. Crazy for this girl Evan & Jaron
40. Stolen Dashboard Confessional
41. You belong with me Taylor Swift
42. Breakeven The Script
43. I Drive Myself Crazy *NSYNC
1. Wait for you Elliot Yamin
2. Makes me wonder Maroon 5
3. Wake up call Maroon 5
4. I want you back *NSYNC
5. Bored of your love Meg & Dia
6. Tearin’ up my heart *NSYNC
7. Only you Ashanti
8. Two is better than one Boys Like Girls
9. Shake it off Mariah Carey
10. A little too not over you David Archuleta
11. Everything you want Vertical Horizon
12. We belong together Mariah Carey
13. The two of us *NSYNC
14. Here we go again Demi Lovato
15. I could get used to this The Veronicas
16. Like U Bow Wow & Ciara
17. Mine again Mariah Carey
18. Thunder Boys Like Girls
19. Hands down Dashboard Confessional
20. Up against the wall Boys Like Girls
21. In another life The Veronicas
22. Always be my baby Mariah Carey
23. If you see Kay The Script
24. She will be loved Maroon 5
25. Don’t forget about us Mariah Carey
26. Always be my baby David Cook
27. Addicted Saving Abel
28. Touch my body Mariah Carey
29. What goes around….Comes around Justin Timberlake
30. So Lonely (One & Only Part II) Mariah Carey
31. We belong together (Remix) Mariah Carey
32. Do you remember Jay Sean ft. Sean Paul & Lil’ Jon
33. Won’t go home without you Maroon 5
34. Battlefield Jordin Sparks
35. Love Story Taylor Swift
36. How do you sleep Jesse McCartney
37. Gone --? *NSYNC
38. It’s gonna be me *NSYNC
39. Crazy for this girl Evan & Jaron
40. Stolen Dashboard Confessional
41. You belong with me Taylor Swift
42. Breakeven The Script
43. I Drive Myself Crazy *NSYNC
Thursday, January 21, 2010
new names.
from now on, i am no longer the broken heart, ryan is no longer the lost soul, and farah is no longer a (hot) mess.
jason = chimera king 30009 lion tiger man
ryan = dragon_wizard.32205.314-toyota_corolla
farah= jim bob
/cyborg.
jason = chimera king 30009 lion tiger man
ryan = dragon_wizard.32205.314-toyota_corolla
farah= jim bob
/cyborg.
realization 3
i'm good. i'm great. i am fine.
i really am. you know why?
i was talking to ms. froelich today.
she came up to me, i was practicing for solo and ensemble, 10 pieces.
sat next to me. and asked how i was doing.
and i can't complain.
because i'm doing what i love. i'm loving what i do.
i'm doing things to make myself feel good. gaining my confidence again.
and hopefully, finding who i am again. this isn't about the breakup anymore, its about me, finding myself.
froelich told me something i needed to hear from her voice, that girls, well right now they don't matter.
and she told me "if i was to ask you what you were passionate about and what you loved, what would you say?"
it was all clear. i pointed straight at the keys and didn't hesitate to. she said:
"music is what will make you successful.
music is what will get you into college.
music is what will make you money.
music is what you will do, and you will love what you do.
aside of that, nothing else really matters.and no one will stand in your way."
you're right froelich. you always have been.
music is where i'm going, and idk where the path will take me. but whereever it is, whatever i do, i will do what i love. and no one's gonna stop me.
they way its looking i've got a really bright future ahead of me, and i can't let anyone soil that. no matter what.
i grew up with the keys. i'm not giving up. ever.
and love, love will come.
love is patient, love is kind. love just happens.
it'll feel right, and i'll know it when it is here.
maybe it's someone i've already met. maybe its someone who i've been with, and they'll be with me again. maybe they're still out there.
but knowing that they're out there gives me hope.
maybe she's out there blogging like i am. frustrated with her love situation.
maybe she's just living her life.
but until i meet her. til love happens, i'm gonna make myself better. not for her, for me.
i'm going to prove myself wrong.
i'm going to rape solo and ensemble.
i'm going to be better than they ever expected me to be.
i'm going to play, and rock nonstop. because in the end,
this life's about me.
/cyborg.
i really am. you know why?
i was talking to ms. froelich today.
she came up to me, i was practicing for solo and ensemble, 10 pieces.
sat next to me. and asked how i was doing.
and i can't complain.
because i'm doing what i love. i'm loving what i do.
i'm doing things to make myself feel good. gaining my confidence again.
and hopefully, finding who i am again. this isn't about the breakup anymore, its about me, finding myself.
froelich told me something i needed to hear from her voice, that girls, well right now they don't matter.
and she told me "if i was to ask you what you were passionate about and what you loved, what would you say?"
it was all clear. i pointed straight at the keys and didn't hesitate to. she said:
"music is what will make you successful.
music is what will get you into college.
music is what will make you money.
music is what you will do, and you will love what you do.
aside of that, nothing else really matters.and no one will stand in your way."
you're right froelich. you always have been.
music is where i'm going, and idk where the path will take me. but whereever it is, whatever i do, i will do what i love. and no one's gonna stop me.
they way its looking i've got a really bright future ahead of me, and i can't let anyone soil that. no matter what.
i grew up with the keys. i'm not giving up. ever.
and love, love will come.
love is patient, love is kind. love just happens.
it'll feel right, and i'll know it when it is here.
maybe it's someone i've already met. maybe its someone who i've been with, and they'll be with me again. maybe they're still out there.
but knowing that they're out there gives me hope.
maybe she's out there blogging like i am. frustrated with her love situation.
maybe she's just living her life.
but until i meet her. til love happens, i'm gonna make myself better. not for her, for me.
i'm going to prove myself wrong.
i'm going to rape solo and ensemble.
i'm going to be better than they ever expected me to be.
i'm going to play, and rock nonstop. because in the end,
this life's about me.
/cyborg.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
How much for a piece of ass?!
Who's the SOB that alerted the media & said I wanted guys to want me just because I'm attractive?! Contrary to Popular belief, that is a FALACY. I have a brain. I have opinions. I think for myself. I read. I write. There's more to me than meets the eye. Where is that guy that's gonna step up and prove himself to me?!
I just got paid & millinium scholarship just came in. All I have to say is that its good to have some $$$. :D So good charlotte did have something going for them when they said girls dont like boys girls like cars & money. :D
I just got paid & millinium scholarship just came in. All I have to say is that its good to have some $$$. :D So good charlotte did have something going for them when they said girls dont like boys girls like cars & money. :D
Friday, January 15, 2010
Friday, January 1, 2010
2010. check me.
here it is. and this year feels no different as the last.
or the previous, but its funny to see how much as actually changed.
but hey, that's what the 09 blog is for, right?
i need to move ahead. straight forward.
and hey, somethings do need to change about me.
but, i'm gonna work my hardest.
i need to start looking at colleges because senior year is right around the corner.
and i need to go somewhere. maybe here, maybe not.
but we'll see.
hopefully you guys will get to the blog soon. there's too much of me.
/cyborg.
or the previous, but its funny to see how much as actually changed.
but hey, that's what the 09 blog is for, right?
i need to move ahead. straight forward.
and hey, somethings do need to change about me.
but, i'm gonna work my hardest.
i need to start looking at colleges because senior year is right around the corner.
and i need to go somewhere. maybe here, maybe not.
but we'll see.
hopefully you guys will get to the blog soon. there's too much of me.
/cyborg.
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