realization 3

i'm good. i'm great. i am fine.
i really am. you know why?
i was talking to ms. froelich today.
she came up to me, i was practicing for solo and ensemble, 10 pieces.
sat next to me. and asked how i was doing.
and i can't complain.
because i'm doing what i love. i'm loving what i do.
i'm doing things to make myself feel good. gaining my confidence again.
and hopefully, finding who i am again. this isn't about the breakup anymore, its about me, finding myself.
froelich told me something i needed to hear from her voice, that girls, well right now they don't matter.
and she told me "if i was to ask you what you were passionate about and what you loved, what would you say?"
it was all clear. i pointed straight at the keys and didn't hesitate to. she said:
"music is what will make you successful.
music is what will get you into college.
music is what will make you money.
music is what you will do, and you will love what you do.
aside of that, nothing else really matters.and no one will stand in your way."

you're right froelich. you always have been.
music is where i'm going, and idk where the path will take me. but whereever it is, whatever i do, i will do what i love. and no one's gonna stop me.

they way its looking i've got a really bright future ahead of me, and i can't let anyone soil that. no matter what.
i grew up with the keys. i'm not giving up. ever.

and love, love will come.
love is patient, love is kind. love just happens.
it'll feel right, and i'll know it when it is here.
maybe it's someone i've already met. maybe its someone who i've been with, and they'll be with me again. maybe they're still out there.
but knowing that they're out there gives me hope.

maybe she's out there blogging like i am. frustrated with her love situation.
maybe she's just living her life.

but until i meet her. til love happens, i'm gonna make myself better. not for her, for me.

i'm going to prove myself wrong.

i'm going to rape solo and ensemble.
i'm going to be better than they ever expected me to be.
i'm going to play, and rock nonstop. because in the end,

this life's about me.

/cyborg.