summer

is just a day shy. i can't believe it.
and whats kicking in?
that lovely summer feeling of loneliness. i wonder why i'm feeling it already.
believe it or not, i'm gonna be a senior. i'm on my way to becoming someone.

at least that's what i'd like to think.

i've been thinking alot lately.(thinking is bad)
since just this past friday actually.
this year's drum major interview did not go as well as last year's.
well, because this year was a giant failure on my part.
i've wasted so much time.

time i could be using to become a better person, wasted. with what, i don't know.
leaving that brutal interview with a rubbery taste in my mouth, i realized how much of a failure i am. hell, i don't even think i'm gonna get drum major next year, when last year i was so gung ho about it.

i hate the feeling like you're doing everything wrong.
and that's how i've felt all my life.
when i think of it, i learned how to play piano wrong.
i learned how to play trumpet wrong.
when i tried doing things as a drum major, i was wrong.
wrong, wrong, wrong.

and when i feel like i'm doing something right,i am wrong.
i couldn't play the moonlight sonata worth shit.
and half of the songs i've attempted to learn i've given up on.

what the hell kind of person am i?

i'm so ready to get out of highschool.

but before then, i'm gonna set some summer goals. these goals are to be done by the end of summer.

-read at least 3 books casually.
-learn a sonata.
-play the trumpet in the center of your mouth.

i'll start there.
i need a haircut.

well i guess precalc wont study itsself.